A wait to be anticipated

The singapore flyer!!

Very excited to be going on it on june 21st :P Thanks a mill for this darl! :P Been secretly wanting to go on it since it was launched. Imagine what it would be like seeing the beautiful lights from way up high, that twinkle against the backdrop of the dark night sky. Feeling the cool tropical breeze blowing against my skin, refreshing the mind and invigorating the senses.

It's funny how I can already imagine what it would be like before I've even gone on this little escapade. I expect that the experience will probably be slightly different to what i've imagined. For instance, the glass "cabins" will probably have air con!!! But we can still dream can't we:) *winkz*

A Reflection

After some self-reflecting I’ve realized that recently I’ve been taking a more positive attitude towards life in Australia. Well, the depressing and pmsey days still exist but there are fewer of them this time round. On a general scale, I’m “more functional” these days and can concentrate better during class. I’ve also noticed that I can happily while away my time doing things by myself and yet, not feel lonely. I’m really glad that whenever I think of home or loved ones, a smile, a feeling of familiarity and warmth comes to heart instead of the previously depressing feelings of neglect and nostalgia that almost always led to tears and subsequent brooding. Now that those weights have lifted, I feel so much more lighthearted and sometimes even walk with a spring in my step. I suppose I’ve come to the realization that these 3 plus more years that I have yet to complete before I obtain my degree are something that I must do. It is a personal challenge, a dream even. I’ve come to know that even though I may be physically separated from my loved ones, the emotional link will never fade and the way they feel towards me will never change. That was something I didn’t understand in the past. I thought that as with the distance, our emotional ties would be stretched apart and I felt like I was left alone to cope by myself in a foreign land, doing the things that I’d always taken for granted and never been accustomed to doing. Spending time away from my family and special someone does not have to be difficult. The only person that can make it difficult is oneself. By believing and trusting in those I love, I’m finding myself a happier and less reclusive person.

Li Bu Chong Xin

It's such a challenge to overcome the inertia of not being able to start work. Exams now less than a month away and I dont feel half as prepared as I should be. Whats up with that? I used to be really focused when studying at home. Now that I'm back, why isnt that happening for me? Well, the chinese have a saying "li bu chong xin" I think this is whats happening now. I want to do it but just cant. My body isnt listening to my mind. I want to break out of that cycle. If the people before me can do it, so can I. Play hard, work hard. I did it before and I can do it again. All I have to do is believe that and want something badly enough. Top sportsmen and women alike have all worked incessantly for numerous hours on end to achieve their dreams. They have trained despite injuries and have done what is required to succeed. Nothing comes without hard work. I too can do it. Impossible is nothing.

True it is that we have seen better days

"it's just so weird when you're so close yet, so far.. so cliche i know. but yes i cant help distancing myself from her. it's just so natural. our time has moved on and i dun see her anymore as anyone impt, someone that i find it essential to meet up with again. i think she got the message pretty clearly, but oh well, it's just difficult when you have mutual friends."

I got this from her blog. Thank goodness for blogs, in real life, everyone lies. "Dont take it personally" That is a load of crap. My first instinct was right and I was just as right to have followed it. That look of disgust and the reason why she did not want to see me there is now crystal clear.

I cant believe how right you were, no one is honest when you give them the chance to be. I called her and yes, asked about it. Yet, she pretended like nothing was wrong and nothing happened. And now that "we talked" about it, we were supposed to be cool about what happened that day. Well, at least that's whats happened in her eyes. We talked like old friends last night, everything was going well. Or so I chose to believe, that is until I saw what happened on her blog this morning. I was horrified. I'm still wondering whether us being able to catch up last night was a pretence on her part or whether she saw it as a genuine effort to make our friendship less distant.

To look at it logically, the sequence of events that happened were in this order, event --> talk --> blog post dated after the event. So ya, maybe things have changed since last night and the blog post can be disregarded as a random ranting. Maybe. Maybe not.

I knew the truth, she hid it from me, he opened my eyes, I found out how she really felt through indirect means and now I'm at a loss of what card to play next. The patch things up card of the cut off all strings one. This time it depends on whether she makes an effort, I've already tried last night. If it's not reciprocated, the friendship means nothing to me.

There is no sky without you...

After the dreadful incident that happened today.. I cant help but think what a world without you would be like. Well, I pondered and I thought. Guess what, they werent pleasant thoughts.

Dark clouds and claps of thunder
Withered leaves and hopes asunder
Hearts askew, lives torn apart
Not by choice, they had to part

The loving warmth and tender touch
All in that instant, dissolved, extinct
The pieces that are left, the memories
Fade away, quietly...

This poem was one I concocted on the spot. Accidents are a silly way to go. Hope neither of us get taken away like that. It doenst matter whose fault it is in an accident, if someone dies, the outcome will be unchanged regardless of who the fault belongs to. Whats gone cannot return.

I love you...

New years resolutions!

Hmm..some say they're simply the leftover things from previous years that we've wanted to do, but could not accomplish. Since we did not have the willpower to accomplish them previously, what makes us believe that this year will be special?

Well, there are always 2 sides to things. A glass with only half it's capacity of water can be said to be either half full or half empty. The one you choose says a lot about your personality and frame of thought. Some people are more pessismistic than they are optimistic, and vice versa.

So, lets get back on track. How many people have the courage to dream and reach for the stars? My new year's resolutions are to
1. EXERCISE
2. STUDY HARD
3. HONE MY PEOPLE SKILLS

Well, honestly speaking, it does sound pretty challenging. Just getting started on the first task is HARD!!! gosh! The inertia, the difficulty in putting on a pair of running shoes and unlocking the door is astounding. I'm so ashamed of myself. Seeing how Monash doesnt isnt into info overloading (gd and bad) it means that I technically will not be going into as much details as my NUS comrads here. Therefore I have to know every bit of information they teach me at my fingertips. Not easy. Last of all, the people skills bit! Have you any idea how excruciating it is to be nice to an unreasonable person? Being nice all day sucks the living daylights out of you! I dont know how people do it but I'm hoping to somehow reach the state of enlightenment where I can draw on my eventual limitless supply of happy energy.

I ask myself at this point whether I've been trying to be the optimist or pessimist. I think its rather obvious which one predominated in the preceeding paragraph. Doesnt take a genius to know how daunting those tasks are to someone as lazy and unmotivated as I am now. Well, on the bright side (remember I said there was one), I've been exercising on and off ( at least i'm doing it!); I've been trying to mentally prep myself for the coming academic year (developing the right attitude is half the battle won); and last but not least, I have been working on my people skills as per my cardiology attachment and the results are looking good! (feedback through different sources). So, NEVER GIVE UP! EFFORT PAYS!!! =) hahah... So despite all my complaining and whining as you can see from the paragraph before this one, I am STILL TRYING. So pessismism and optimism can co-exist! Just that one side shows more at certain times. You are the one who decides which side it is you want to show. You are in control. You hold the compass to the ship of life. haha=p Hows that for inspiration? *winkz*

New Hobby!! =) hehe

Here's my lastest hobby! I've always been very fascinatinated about nails so i've decided to make nail art my new hobby!!! To relieve post exam tension, the very first thing I did was to go to the nail saloon and have some Acrylic French manicured nails done! The whole time though i was just watching in awe as the manicurist so professionally did up my nails, she even used special machines to buff and cut my cuticles..hahaha=p Well, for the end product have a look at the wonderful pictures below! =p The whole experience was so exciting and refreshing! The nails look so pretty and they're gonna last for about 1 month..the only drawback is not being able to wash dishes properly.. do housework.. quite unpractical BUT pretty! And for a firstimer like myself, it feels GREAT! =p hehe